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Four Reasons Not to Find Out The Gender of Your Baby

March 1, 2019

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Hi I’m Morgan! I’m a photography educator and Raleigh, NC newborn photographer and family photographer.

Meet Morgan



Call us crazy, but Justin and I chose not to find out the gender of either of our boys before they were born. I mean, some people legitimately do think we’re crazy. But personally, I really enjoyed it, and here are a few reasons why.

People buy shower gifts that you actually registered for!

People LOVE buying baby clothes, especially when they can buy for your baby girl or your baby boy. You know what they don’t particularly love? Buying gender neutral clothes. So all of those people that come to your shower end up buying the things that you actually asked for. They buy the things that are on your baby registry! WHAT A CONCEPT, right?

I can promise you that you’re going to need diapers, wipes, baby shampoo and washcloths. You’re going to get so much use out of these things. That frilly little dress with the bows all over it, though? She’ll wear it once or twice. Just remember when you pack it away after she’s grown out of it in two weeks time that it took the place of a whole box of diapers.

You can reuse everything for subsequent children

If your first baby is a boy and you decorate the nursery with all boy things, and then your second baby ends up being a girl… well, now you have to redecorate the whole. dang. thing. Fun? Absolutely. Cost effective? Not so much.

We chose to go with gray, white and gold for our gender neutral nursery, and we’ll never have to buy additional nursery decor ever in our lives. If we choose to have another baby and it ends up being a girl, we’re going to have everything we need and have a little more money in our pockets because of it. And speaking of finances…

It will save you money

I have said time and time again that I would’ve bought SO much more before my babies were born had I known their gender. And yes! That would’ve been fun! But you know what else? Babies grow SO FAST. It’s extremely likely that I would’ve ended up buying more clothes than my children could have realistically worn in the time period that it actually fit them.

I already mentioned this, but gender neutral clothing is not fun to buy. I’ve literally never bought one piece of gender neutral baby clothing that I was SO excited about. You may see this is a negative, but trust me that it’s a positive in the long run. Remember, you need diapers, not 300 monogrammed onesies.

It ups the anticipation and excitement

Waiting for your baby to arrive is one of the most exciting periods of your life. Wondering what he or she will be like, look like and wondering what it will feel like to hold them for the first time is so freaking exciting.

Add to that not knowing if your baby will be a girl or boy only adds to that excitement. And not only does it add to it for you, but it adds to it for your family and friends as well! Literally everyone is excited and can’t wait for you to deliver. And then that moment in the delivery room when they say, “It’s a BOY! (or GIRL!)” is the most wonderful, crazy, beautiful moment ever.


All of this being said, if we have another child we will absolutely be finding out the gender. Why? Because Mama needs to know if she’s going to be a mom to three boys and never have a daughter. I mean, that’s legitimately something I’ll need to process well before delivery day. This is not to say that I wouldn’t be happy with another boy. I love my boys dearly, and having another one of them would be nothing but a blessing. But I’d also be lying if I said that I don’t care if I ever have a daughter. That’s a really huge massive lie.

But, if it’s your first child, what do you have to lose? At the very least, give it some thought and consider not finding out. It’ll only make the whole experience that much more exciting. I promise!

  1. Laura C says:

    I’m expecting #3 and I’m not finding out for the first time. I have 2 boys, and there’s still something so surreal about picturing life with either gender even when you know. I feel that if I knew now I was never having a girl, it would steal some joy from the anticipation- whereas if I’m holding a surprise 3rd boy, I’m already going to have so much love for him, no envisioning necessary. Maybe I’ll take a moment and say “ok Lord, you said no to my desire for a girl, but I know you know best and this boy will bring you more glory”. I feel like it will shorten my processing time significantly to not know, haha. Plus, like you said, if I knew I was having a girl now, the shopping would be out of control. 🙂

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