My Sweet Beckett,
How have two years already passed since you entered our lives and changed them for the better? I loved you the first time I held you, but that love has grown exponentially since that moment. With every smile, new word, hug and emergence of your personality, my heart has to grow a little bigger to be able to contain the love I have for you.
You’re doing all of things I never could’ve imagined you doing two years ago. Running, talking, laughing, giving sweet kisses, dancing, playing all of the sports you can, saying “hi” to everyone you see and even forming your own opinions and expressing them in tantrum form – much to mine and your dad’s dismay. But that’s part of being two, and even though they make the days long sometimes, we know that this too shall pass. 🙂
You’re going to be a big brother in just a few short months. It’s a role that I’m anxious to see you fulfill, yet at the same time, I’m beginning to mourn the loss of our time alone together. Just the other day we were playing “get you” (you know the game where Mommy or Daddy chase you and tickle you). I “got you” and listened to the sound of your sweet giggles fill the air. You pulled my face to yours and gave me eskimo kisses through your laughter, and tears welled up in my eyes as I savored the moment with you. I know that these moments won’t happen quite as frequently come December, but I hope you’ll know that I still love you just as much. Until then, I plan to squeeze you a little tighter and soak up every last snuggle I can.
It’s such a joy to watch you grow, Beckett. It’s bittersweet, really. My mama heart bursts with pride and happiness when you learn something new. And then I can look back at a picture of you as a tiny baby, and I’m instantly reminded of just how quickly time passes. You change and learn and grow in the blink of an eye. It’s amazing, and it’s also frightening, because it makes me so aware of how fleeting each moment with you is. The days truly are long sometimes, but the years are short. So short. And before I know it you’ll be denying me snuggles and kisses and boarding the bus for school.
No matter how big you get or how embarrassing you may think my hugs and kisses are one day, though, I want you to know how grateful I am for you. Being your mom is the greatest privilege in the world. You’ve changed my life and my heart in the biggest ways – in ways I never could’ve experienced without you. And I know that this will only continue as you grow and navigate new stages of life. Please know that you’ll never be too big to rest in my arms when you need to step away from the world into that comforting place that feels like home. I’ll always happily welcome you there, and you should know that it makes me even happier than it makes you.
And please know that you will never ever ever be too big for a hug, a kiss or a piece of advice from me should you need it. You’ll grow and gain your independence as you should, but you’ll always have a safe place to land here with me. I love you so much, Beckett, and I look forward to seeing what the future with you holds.