When I left my full-time job in marketing almost a month ago, I thought it would free up ALL of this time for me. And technically, it has. In other ways it hasn’t though. How is that even possible, right? I should have an extra 40 hours per week to play with.
Here’s the thing that no one tells you about owning your own business. Or maybe they do and I just didn’t listen… There is ALWAYS something for you to do. There’s always something you can do to improve your business, to take it to the next level. There’s always an email to respond to, a picture to edit or a course to complete. You really feel like you’re never completely caught up.
I think part of this lies in that as entrepreneurs, we LOVE what we do. I heard it said just yesterday (in a course I’m taking, of course), that we would rather work 60 hours per week for ourselves than 40 hours per week for someone else. #TRUTH #PREACH #YASSS. If I’ve learned anything in this past month, it’s that you feel like the success of your business lies solely on YOU. And because we happen to love what we do, seeing our businesses become successful is of utmost importance to us.
I left my full-time job so that I would have more time and energy to invest into my son, my family and my photography business. I have been able to do those things, but I see myself starting to slide down a slippery slope – a slope where I spend every spare minute I have working. It’s a slope where I bask in the glorification of “BUSY”. It’s a slope I do NOT want to slide down.
It makes me start to wonder why. Why does every minute of every day have to be filled with something? What am I afraid of? Why can’t I just be? Do I think everything is going to fall apart if I’m not constantly working? Is my faith in our Creator so small that I don’t trust that He will provide if I let go and focus on and invest time in the things that I should be focusing on? Things such as my son, my husband, my faith – shouldn’t those come before work? They should. Without question, they should.
I do LOVE what I do. I love photography and my business and my clients. I love all of it, and I feel beyond fortunate to be living out my dream. But I know where my eyes should be fixed. I know where my time and energy should be spent. More than that, I know that if I invest myself in those places, the rest will fall into place just as it should.
So I’m going to focus on this motto: “Less hustle, more grace.” I’m giving myself grace to rest. To not feel pressured to do it all. To move slower. To enjoy the little moments. To work less and live and love more. Do I expect to wake up tomorrow and be 100 percent content with all of this? No. It’s a work in progress, and it’s a scary work in progress because it means giving up control and handing it all over to the One who knows what’s best. But you know what? In the end, my faith, my marriage and my son will be better for it. And that’s not scary at all.