I’ve had some pretty intense days of frustration lately. I’ve had a lot of trouble understanding why it’s SO hard for me to find time to work. I’ve felt like I’m never going to progress forward in my business with only the little slivers of time I have to devote to it. I look around at my fellow business owners and it seems they all have it figured out. They’ve figured out how to juggle everything that life throws at them. And me? I’m just over here drowning.
And then it hit me. As I was scrolling Instagram, I came across Lara Casey‘s latest post that read “It’s okay to grow slow”. I read her always insightful words, and I finally felt at peace for the first time in over a month. Here’s a pared down version of her caption (emphasis mine): “I’ve run this business for over ten years, and I have learned a thing or two, but let me tell you this: God’s plan does not look like the rest of the world’s success. The world says do more, grow fast, be big, use these tricks, analyze, do it like those people, get ahead….New homeowners like trees labeled ‘fast growing’ to fill in a space quickly, or provide shade to reduce the cooling bill. But fast growing trees don’t have deep enough roots to last through storms and drought. Good things grow, and take root, little by little. And pruning helps plants be more fruitful. Maybe–despite everything everyone tells you–fast isn’t the goal. Maybe less is okay. Maybe a slower pace will help your roots stretch deep and wide. It’s okay to grow slow.“
After many weeks of feeling overwhelmed and somewhat hopeless, her words brought such clarification and peace to my life. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – it is HARD to balance owning a business and being a mom. Really freaking hard. And lately I’ve felt so defeated by it all. But Lara’s post reminded me that 1. It’s ok to grow slow, and 2. It’s not about what I want or my plans. It’s about God’s plan – plans that are bigger, better and way more fulfilling than anything I could ever dream up.
Suddenly, I could see it all so clearly. I have to let my roots grow deep in my business (instead of growing UP and FAST). I have to stop comparing myself to other people in the creative industry. I am NOT them. I may not have as much time at my disposal as other people, but my unique experiences and outlook are what make me ME, and that’s something to celebrate. It’s not something that I should try and change. So here I am, you guys. I’m a mom. I’m a wife. I’m a business owner. I don’t have crazy amounts of time to pour into my business. But the precious minutes I do pour into it are done so with a fierce passion.
So instead of feeling down about not being able to give as much of myself as I would like to to my business, I’m choosing to focus on the things that I’m able to give more of myself to in this season of my life; specifically my family. I’ve always been a believer in everything happening for a reason, and this is no exception to that rule. Honestly, I have no idea why God is calling me to give more of myself to them and less to my business right now, but I do know that there’s a reason.
I want to be as present as I can be in my business, but I’m done beating myself up over it. I’m done letting it steal my joy. I’m giving myself grace. I’m letting my roots grow deep. I’m being ok with growing slow.